Thank God for Kenya

Kenya is 10 times different from America, yet South Sudan is 50 times different from Kenya. I made the mistake of thinking my time in Kenya had equipped me better, that the two cultures couldn’t be so different, that I wouldn’t have to start all over yet again. I was wrong. I wasn’t prepared for this feeling of inadequacy, this seemingly utter helplessness. I wasn’t prepared to feel like a child, a blank slate, when I’ve already experienced so much. I wasn’t prepared to be stripped bare again. And I feel it pressing on me, weighing me down.

Most of the time I can honestly say I am fine. But today I’m not. So I’m thankful for Kenya, for the time we have to “refill”. I look forward to when…

I can speak English to more than a handful of people and hear it spoken in public.

I can drive.

I feel comfortable going places alone.

I can walk through normal grocery stores with a shopping cart.

I can buy fresh fruit and veggies of all kinds.

I can buy ice cream and potato chips of ANY kind.

I can worship and fellowship in my mother tongue.

I can play volleyball… in shorts.

I’m no longer stared at every second I’m not in my compound.

I can go to the movies or bowling or golf.

I can take a real shower with hot water from the tap and not from a bucket on my charcoal grill.

I can use a sit down toilet… that flushes.

I can wear trousers EVERY day.

I can use the internet ALL day long if I want to.

My makeup won’t slide off my face.

I can bake box mix brownies in a gas oven.

I can feel a bit less like an idiot and more like myself.

4 thoughts on “Thank God for Kenya

  1. Still praying for you. Thank you for your openness and transparency of your life in South Sudan. I can’t even imagine all the adjustments you have to make.

  2. Oh, sweet friend, I feel your pain. You are getting a mega-dose of one of the lessons of life: every time we think we “have arrived,” that we have this life down pat, *boom* everything changes, we are humbled, and we realize how far we have to go. This applies even more to our walk with the Lord. My husband expressed it well when he said, “The more we learn about God, the greater we realize the gap between who we are and who He is.” This experience can deplete us or, if we are smart enough to let Him, it can be an opportunity to be filled with His strength. You’ll never “arrive”, but you’ll never have to travel alone. You are loved by many, lifted up in our prayers.

    • Thanks for the prayers and encouragement! Sometimes it’s not until I’m completely empty that I get filled back up. Thankful for all those who “travel” with us and especially for the Lord who knows just what I need.

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